Friday, 21 January 2011

Tessa's Birthday Blogfest

I'll have a longer post up in the next two days, I just wanted to take part in a blogfest as I haven't in a while, and I had the perfect scene for it.

It features two characters which some of you have already read about, only this excerpt is from my first novel, Resisting Wonderland. I read the feedback from my writing partner earlier this evening, and I have to say it made my night. The things she said and commented on were wonderful, and it made me feel fantastic about my MS, even if I still have a long way to go.

In celebration of Tessa's birthday and this fact, I thought I'd share a sweet scene between Alice and Elliot from Resisting Wonderland. I hope you enjoy it; feel free to make any comments and criticism - I'll be happy for any feedback.


“If this is Wonderland,” I said, my voice cracking as I spoke for the first time since I’d entered the room, “you are the only source of sanity.”

“Calling this world Wonderland is the only way I can accept it," Elliot said, resting his head against the wall as sat next to me on the floor. "This isn’t sane. This isn’t logical.”

“You’re right. I can’t resist Wonderland anymore. It’s too hard.”

He gave a worn smile. “I think you’ve fought it for far too long.”

I sighed heavily. “I know I have.”

“Can I give you something?” he said suddenly, and I smiled.

“More advice?”

“No, I was thinking something more tangible.”

He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a glimmer of silver. Opening his hand, I saw a long silver chain, and in the centre an ornate silver butterfly with swirling wings and three beautiful blue stones.

“Yesterday, I went past a jewellery shop with the window shattered. I saw this and couldn’t resist taking it. Everything about it matched you.”

Gently, I picked up the necklace, lacing it through my fingers so the butterfly could hang in the air. “It’s . . . stunning. Absolutely stunning. I love it.”

I stared at the necklace, awestruck by its beauty, amazed at his perception, and unable to believe how much I needed him. It was moments like these that saved me.

“Want me to put it on?” he said, Elliot’s fingers reaching for the necklace. I curled his fingers into mine as he did, showing how much both him and the gift meant to me. We only stared, caught in each other’s eyes, unable to see past them.

For both of us, all we had left was each other.

When our hands unlinked, he carefully took the necklace and leaned closer to me, his cheek brushing mine as he did the clasp. The butterfly rested below my collarbone, and he kissed my neck once before pulling away to look. Only, instead of the necklace, he only looked in my eyes as he said, “Beautiful.”

I leant into him, his arm going behind me and around the edge of my waist as I rested my head on his shoulder. “Ash is wrong,” I said quietly, “I do care. I care too much.”

“I know.”

We didn’t speak or move for a long time, needing only the other to keep us content in our Wonderland.


  1. Ah, haven't met Elliot yet! Can't wait to meet him~ Great post

  2. Nice. I wish I had a necklace like that.

  3. That was beautiful and reflective. I can already tell that Ash is a jerk. The gift, its beauty - how it was given and received - was very well paced and written.

  4. The scene leaves me feeling happy for them and sad for them at the same time. Nicely done.

  5. Hi,

    Lovely piece of writing: nice flow and great interaction between MCs. Just enough emotional edge to jerk at heartstrings ;)


  6. very nice. makes me want to read more.

  7. Very sweet. You can feel the emotion between them. Thanks for sharing.

  8. oooh intriguing! Thank you for taking part in my Blogfest!! Like the other commenters already said, there's some really nice emotional interaction going on here, and you really have me curious about this "wonderland" of theirs, where you can just pick things up from broken jewellery store windows because it matches someone you know.

    Fascinating stuff! And sorry I'm a bit late commenting, turns out birthdays can be rather busy! ; P

  9. Very cute! Elliot's quite the sweetheart!

  10. All commenters: Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback. I'm so glad you all warmed to Elliot's character, as it's always harder to make readers empathise with somebody who isn't the MC, due to the alternate perspective. It was something I was worried about, so many thanks for commenting on that! Thank you all (: